Longing to Belong Chapter 8: Skills for Healthy Storming: Part 1

From Chapter Eight of Longing to Belong

Conflict is inevitable in our struggle to belong, and certain skills are very useful in our navigating safely through these Storms. Too often, our tendency is to avoid any conflict because we fear the confrontation or, based on previous experiences, the heat and pressure that may result prevent us from persevering. However, when we avoid dealing with conflict, one or more people in the relationship often withdraw—or even leave—resulting in a “stalemate” on our journey of belonging where we get stuck between Forming and Storming.
As we discussed in Chapter Seven, Storming, when navigated with sound, biblical skills and boundaries, can provide the refinement needed to clarify Who and Whose we are and What God is calling us to do. The heat and pressure we sometimes experience in conflict is not unlike the heat and pressure of the refiner’s fire described in Scripture. The purpose of refinement is not to destroy but rather to purify the precious metal making it stronger, purer, and more durable.
The key to any conflict providing refinement instead of destruction is our ability to respond to conflict with sound, biblical tools. In this chapter and the next, we will explore seven essential skills found in Scripture that will equip and empower us to navigate safely and effectively through the Storms in any relationship.
In this chapter, we will explore the first five skills for healthy Storming which include: